[Missed part one? If so, you should read it first then come back. Remember, my deviant daemons, this story requires patience . Trust me - I know the bloody path I'm taking you down.]
"I'm not going to hurt you," I said, as I could see nothing but terror on her face. "In fact, I was sent to watch over the Dauphine for a time. Does that not make you happy?" I asked with a tone so sickeningly sweet I wanted to vomit.
"So you are an angel sent by god?" She asked me pensively.
"Remember always to welcome strangers, for by doing this, some people have entertained angels without knowing it. Hebrews 13:2," I replied
"Forgive me my God of my ignorance," Marie-Thérèse muttered.
As she crossed herself she fell to her knees and began kissing my feet. I pulled her up by the arm with a forced smile saying: "You really should not be doing that, as you have no idea where my feet have been."
"I am at your service, most glorious holy one," she said piously.
I giggled inside, as "holy" is as far from the truth as one can get with regards to my nature. Then it hit me. I had really gotten myself caught in a decidedly large web this time.
Hmmm. How to get out...
The first thought that popped into my head was to put her onto the flame of the massive fireplace in the room, cook her, and eat her. As this scene was playing out in my mind, I walked over to one of the very large, very overstuffed chairs, plopping myself right down into it. This particular chair was a fine gold crushed velvet. It was so warm, cushy, and ever so inviting that all I wanted to do was to curl up and have a nap. After all, I had been quite busy. I was hungry as well, come to think of it, but I needed to sort things out. I began to speak, but the queen spoke first.
"I beg your pardon for interrupting your thoughts holy one, but my gowns are much to large to fit someone with such a small frame as yourself. It will be morning very shortly. I can have my servants bathe you, and then I can acquire suitable attire for you, if this is agreeable."
Alright, so maybe cooking her is not the best plan of action, but what to do, what to do? I swear, sometimes my recklessness infuriates even me.
"First of all, stop calling me 'holy one'. You may call me Lili.
"Second, I shall take the bath with rose oil. I am also ravenous and would like a suckling pig, fruit, cheese, fresh milk and honey. Also, you will have to tell those in your company that I am a distant cousin from Austria on your mother's side. I shall appear as a normal human to them, and only you shall ever see my true face.
"Next, I will only stay here for a few days so as not to rise too many questions. You shall secure me suitable rooms nearby so that I can keep an eye on the Dauphine."
I continued: "I do not know how long I shall be required to stay. Therefore, you will provide me a generous monthly allowance, wardrobe, and carriage. I will need a servant for cleaning up and preparation of my meals. This servant must have your absolute trust. I want a young man, pleasant to the eyes, and one who does not chatter like a monkey. He too must also have a new wardrobe suitable to take me out as my companion. If you OR he fails me in anyway, I will curse your entire bloodline for all of eternity. Do you understand?" I asked, giving my orders to her as though she herself were a servant.
Marie-Thérèse, Queen Consort of France, nodded, curtsied, and hurried off as dawn came splashing through the floor-to-ceiling windows that surrounded me.
This is going to be so much more fun than I had originally anticipated, I thought to myself.
Thursday 20 August 2009
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